How to Go to Confession
(take this guide with you... it's okay, really)
Before You Go...
Examine your conscience, that is, reflect on what sins you have committed. To guide you, there is an examination of conscience adapted from the Rite of Penance, Appendix III.
Introduction
When you come before the priest, begin by making the Sign of the Cross (praying the words out loud), and continue by saying, "Bless me, Father, I have sinned. It has been (how long) since my last confession. These are my sins..."
Confession
List the sins you have committed that came to mind when doing your examination of conscience. Don't be too general (like, "I haven't been a good person"), but a lot of detail is not necessary either (you don't need to tell the whole story of how a sin came about). If you're not sure if something is a sin is, just ask the priest. The priest will usually give you some counsel on how to, with God's grace, avoid these sins.
Penance
The priest will suggest something for you to do or pray as a response to God's mercy. You'll have to remember what this is and do it after the confession is over, so pay attention.
Contrition
The priest will then ask you to pray your "Act of Contrition," demonstrating your sorrow for your sins. This needs to be prayed out loud for the priest to hear, but need not adhere exactly to one formula.
Here are two examples (choose the one that suits you best):
ACT OF CONTRITION
My God, I am sorry for my sins with all my heart.
In choosing to do wrong and failing to do good,
I have sinned against You whom I should love
above all things. I firmly intend, with your help,
to do penance, to sin no more, and
to avoid whatever leads me to sin.
Our Savior Jesus Christ suffered and died for us.
In his name, my God, have mercy.
OR
O my God, I am heartily sorry
for having offended you and I detest all my sins,
because I dread the loss of heaven and the pains of hell;
but most of all because they offend you, my God,
who are all good and deserving of all my love.
I firmly resolve with the help of your grace,
to confess my sins, to do penance, and to amend my life. Amen.
Here are two examples (choose the one that suits you best):
ACT OF CONTRITION
My God, I am sorry for my sins with all my heart.
In choosing to do wrong and failing to do good,
I have sinned against You whom I should love
above all things. I firmly intend, with your help,
to do penance, to sin no more, and
to avoid whatever leads me to sin.
Our Savior Jesus Christ suffered and died for us.
In his name, my God, have mercy.
OR
O my God, I am heartily sorry
for having offended you and I detest all my sins,
because I dread the loss of heaven and the pains of hell;
but most of all because they offend you, my God,
who are all good and deserving of all my love.
I firmly resolve with the help of your grace,
to confess my sins, to do penance, and to amend my life. Amen.
Absolution
Don't get up to leave after that prayer, because the best part is yet to come: the priest will extend his hands in your direction and he will pray the Prayer of Absolution: "God, the Father of Mercies, through the death and resurrection of his Son, has reconciled the world to himself and sent the Holy Spirit among us for the forgiveness of sins. Through the ministry of the Church, may God grant you pardon and peace. And I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen." (Make the sign of the cross as the priest is absolving you.)
You respond: Amen.
You respond: Amen.
Conclusion
The priest will then likely say something like, "Go in Peace." To which you can respond: "Thanks be to God."
After You Leave...
Don't forget to do your penance. If it is saying certain prayers, it's best to do it right away in the church before you forget.
Examination of Conscience
A. The Lord says, "You shall love the Lord your God with your whole heart."
1. Is my heart set on God, so that I really love him above all things and am faithful to his commandments? Or am I more concerned about the things of this world?
2. God spoke to us in his Son. Is my faith in God firm and secure? Have I been careful to grow in my understanding of the faith, to hear God's word?
3. Do I pray regularly? Do I offer God my difficulties, my joys and my sorrows?
4. Have I love and reverence for God's name? Have I shown love and respect for the Blessed Virgin Mary and the saints?
5. Do I keep Sundays and feast days holy by taking a full part, with attention and devotion, in the liturgy, and especially in the Mass?
6. Are there false gods that I worship by giving them greater attention and deeper trust than I give to God: money, superstition, astrology?
2. God spoke to us in his Son. Is my faith in God firm and secure? Have I been careful to grow in my understanding of the faith, to hear God's word?
3. Do I pray regularly? Do I offer God my difficulties, my joys and my sorrows?
4. Have I love and reverence for God's name? Have I shown love and respect for the Blessed Virgin Mary and the saints?
5. Do I keep Sundays and feast days holy by taking a full part, with attention and devotion, in the liturgy, and especially in the Mass?
6. Are there false gods that I worship by giving them greater attention and deeper trust than I give to God: money, superstition, astrology?
B. The Lord says, "Love one another as I have loved you."
1. Have I a genuine love for my neighbors? Or do I use them for my own ends, or do to them what I would not want done to myself?
2. In my family life, have I shown proper respect toward my parents? Have I been careful to give a Christian upbringing to my children? Have I been faithful to my spouse?
3. Do I share my possessions with the less fortunate? Do I do my best to help the victims of oppression, misfortune and poverty?
4. Does my life reflect the mission I received at confirmation? Do I share in the apostolic and charitable works of the church and in the life of my parish?
5. Am I concerned for the good and prosperity of the human community in which I live, or do I spend my life caring only for myself? Do I share to the best of my ability in the work of promoting justice, morality, harmony and love in human relations?
2. In my family life, have I shown proper respect toward my parents? Have I been careful to give a Christian upbringing to my children? Have I been faithful to my spouse?
3. Do I share my possessions with the less fortunate? Do I do my best to help the victims of oppression, misfortune and poverty?
4. Does my life reflect the mission I received at confirmation? Do I share in the apostolic and charitable works of the church and in the life of my parish?
5. Am I concerned for the good and prosperity of the human community in which I live, or do I spend my life caring only for myself? Do I share to the best of my ability in the work of promoting justice, morality, harmony and love in human relations?
C. Christ our Lord says, "Be perfect as your Father is perfect."
1. Where is my life really leading me? Is the hope of eternal life my inspiration? Have I tried to grow in the life of the Spirit through prayer, reading the word of God, receiving the sacraments? Have I imposed my own will on others, without respecting their freedom and rights?
2. What use have I made of time, of health and strength, of the gifts God has given me? Do I use them to become more perfect each day?
3. Have I been patient in accepting the sorrows and disappointments of life?
4. Have I kept my whole body pure as a temple of the Holy Spirit? Have I dishonored my body physically or through unworthy conversation or thoughts? Have I indulged in activities which offend Christian or human decency?
5. Have I gone against my conscience out of fear or hypocrisy?
(An edited version taken from the Rite of Penance, Appendix III)
2. What use have I made of time, of health and strength, of the gifts God has given me? Do I use them to become more perfect each day?
3. Have I been patient in accepting the sorrows and disappointments of life?
4. Have I kept my whole body pure as a temple of the Holy Spirit? Have I dishonored my body physically or through unworthy conversation or thoughts? Have I indulged in activities which offend Christian or human decency?
5. Have I gone against my conscience out of fear or hypocrisy?
(An edited version taken from the Rite of Penance, Appendix III)